Ok it hurts a lot. There was a point that I won't continue this project anymore and just go back and like live happily ever after. I was really confuse and in my bed I close my eyes and ask God for a sign. A sign that will help me decide which is which. After 15 minutes of being confuse I decided to get up and eat my dinner to a near by store. Since for almost a year I keep on visitng that place since its the closes place I can buy some food and its cheap the owner and I became friends.
While I was eating she suddenly complain about the prices that we in the Philippines experience. It's because the government have passed an e-vat(extended value added tax) which is 12%. She told me that right now every single goods went up and its so difficult to pay those basic needs most especially electric bills.
After a simple conversation which last for only 5 mins I guess while I was eating I realize as I walk back to my place that I should use my head instead of my emotions. Why? its because if I give up and go back home do I actually think that I will have a happy ending? the moment I give up thise project im screw. There is nothing to back. I mean yes there's my gf but what about my future? with all the unemployed people out there I don't think I could find another job. Plus if I abandon my project its ganna be one mess. How am I ganna sell my own company? how will I build my confidence? emotionally I will be happy but in the long run will our love last if there is no food to eat? or cash to buy for our basic needs? will I choose to be a security guard just to feed my family?
I just have to be mature enough to strengthen my foundation. I should focus on the future since the future will be the place were I will live. I love my girl friend but in every relationship there must be a responsibility. Id rather stay alone than see my children suffer without eating something. I love my girl friend too but I need to invest in our future if we will live in a separate lives then so be it but if not then I will be the happiest man a live.
I wan't a good and better life and this is the only way that I can see. Wish me luck.