Confuse

My girlfriend and I had a chat. She was talking to me that she's tired and piss off because of our present situation. Long distance relationship. It's like everytime we chat she always tells me to go back to davao because she missess me then the worse and painful part is the dating thing. Imagine the feeling about your girl dating with someone though she told me that it's nothing. I always tell her about my feelings like I was about it and it hurts. Then after a long chat it will be settled and back to normal again. But the problem is most of the time a guy single or even married keeps on inviting her then it reach to a point that she will allow it. She always blame it to me. Because I was not there.

Ok it hurts a lot. There was a point that I won't continue this project anymore and just go back and like live happily ever after. I was really confuse and in my bed I close my eyes and ask God for a sign. A sign that will help me decide which is which. After 15 minutes of being confuse I decided to get up and eat my dinner to a near by store. Since for almost a year I keep on visitng that place since its the closes place I can buy some food and its cheap the owner and I became friends.

While I was eating she suddenly complain about the prices that we in the Philippines experience. It's because the government have passed an e-vat(extended value added tax) which is 12%. She told me that right now every single goods went up and its so difficult to pay those basic needs most especially electric bills.

After a simple conversation which last for only 5 mins I guess while I was eating I realize as I walk back to my place that I should use my head instead of my emotions. Why? its because if I give up and go back home do I actually think that I will have a happy ending? the moment I give up thise project im screw. There is nothing to back. I mean yes there's my gf but what about my future? with all the unemployed people out there I don't think I could find another job. Plus if I abandon my project its ganna be one mess. How am I ganna sell my own company? how will I build my confidence? emotionally I will be happy but in the long run will our love last if there is no food to eat? or cash to buy for our basic needs? will I choose to be a security guard just to feed my family?

I just have to be mature enough to strengthen my foundation. I should focus on the future since the future will be the place were I will live. I love my girl friend but in every relationship there must be a responsibility. Id rather stay alone than see my children suffer without eating something. I love my girl friend too but I need to invest in our future if we will live in a separate lives then so be it but if not then I will be the happiest man a live.

I wan't a good and better life and this is the only way that I can see. Wish me luck.

Comments

Anonymous said…
In the first place why did you leave your girlfriend? Why not bring her there? Why not marry her today? It's really hard and long distance love affair seldom works. Why not have an affair there? hehehe or why not go home every once a month in davao? worrying anxiously about the future is like you are not living in the present nor future. :D
TeenyBopper said…
ouch! learn to balance things. You're right, don't live on emotions alone.As a girl, it is possible that someone will invite me for a date.. but to the extent of going beyond my limits that can harm my relationship with my bf is another thing. There is such thing as friendly date right?. I think what you're gf is up to is purely a friendly date and nothing else.

Yeah, you should visit at least once a month .. it is so hard to live in LDRs u know. But still it depends on how you both take some considerations in dealing that kind of situation.... one must learn to accept and suffer for the benefit of the two of you. Just remember if happens one of you fall out that's the most horrible one... that means nothing, but the end of the line. Good luck!
Anonymous said…
In every action there is a reaction. :)
maks said…
thanks for visitng my blog and for the comments too teenybooper...I wish most of you guys use your nick instead of anonymous. But anyways thanks for the comments ill keep it in mind. :D
Jane Smith said…
im looking for a particular photo of urs, naligaw ako! it's okay baby :( ur with me now and u know na mahal na mahal kita :D mwah3x.

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